“Vicious, you hit me with a flower
You do it every hour
Ohh, baby you're so vicious”
--Vicious
So what kind of “vicious” is it? Do you think hiting ones with a flower every hour is a kind of “vicious”? Nope. You can see Lou Reed was certainly making fun with the line had been made by Andy Warhol when he was writing the song. For some reasons the narrative wanted to step on the hands and mangle the feet of the “vicious” person and asked the person to swallow razor blades. Jesus, now you tell me who is “vicious”?
9
“Why don't you wake me shake me
Please don't let me sleep too long”
--Wagon Wheel
I don’t think Wagon Wheel is strong enough to be picked as one of the best in the album…probably the funniest however. Lou Reed whispered to heavenly father is already funny enough to be counted as a joke. But what the funniest in this song is after you heard Lou Reed sang you something about life and whispered to heavenly father pleading for care, the chorus is about awaken from sleep. Gosh! So idiotic! Who said Lou Reed is a poet?! Umm…anyway…I should make my alarm with these lines…I really like it.
8
“I've been told that you've been bold
With Harry, Mark and John
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday to Thursday,
Harry, Mark and John“
--Satellite of Love
Woohoo! What a slut! Lou Reed said he didn’t know what the song is about. Even he is the one who wrote this song. Somehow when he was singing the song loud in front of the crowd, he discovered the song is about jealousy. Fair enough, as you can see in these lines, the lady is such a slut that has different guys “crazy” with her just a week. “No! Only Harry, Mark and John! Only Three!” Well, isn’t it sound pretty naïve? If she could be bold with Harry, Mark and John this week, probably she could or would be bold with Larry, Fred and Tom next week and Winkin, Blinkin, and Nod the week after. (The latter three was the pre-record original version) Good Stuff Lou!
7
--New York Telephone Conversation
Yes, the song itself is instantly a joke. Not only the lyrics or the melody is funny or childish, if, you could imagine there are some die hard Velvet Underground fans and they are looking for another Sister Ray in the Transformer album, then you know what a joke is about as you can see their faces when they have got this.
6
“Cause you know what they say about honey bears
When you shave off all their baby hair
You have a hairy minded pink bare bear”
--Andy’s Chest
I don’t know. I’m just so into there lines. It’s fucking funny, isn’t it?
5
“But the funny thing is what happened to her nose
It grew until it reached all of her toes
Now when people say her feet they mean her nose”
--Andy’s Chest
Again, Andy’s Chest. At first, you thought the song is about Andy Warhol, the pop art master got shot in his chest. So it should be a sad song as Andy Warhol should mean a lot to Lou Reed. Then you found out that you are fucked. The lyric is so difficult that you could hardly get a meaning from it. Where is the dead of Andy Warhol? But apart from the whole picture, you could still get some fun from the fragment, and these lines are one of the funniest among the album.
One more point, you could see how Lou Reed make these two fragments rhyme with repetition. Hey, he has a Bachelor degree of Arts in English! Remember, not all Rock ‘n’ Rollers are idiots like you and me.
4
--Goodnight Ladies
Yes. What a joke this could be when you have such a song like this in a so-called Hard Rock and Proto-Punk album. This kind of songs would not even appear in a bubblegum pop album. But that’s why we think Lou Reed, David Bowie and Mick Ronson were smarter than the norm. They have not been bounded by anything, even you would say these three fuckers were only glam rockers, but their talents are definitely far beyond that as they shown later, or even in this song.
3
Okay. Some people believed these two pictures were actually Lou Reed himself. I’m not going to comment if anyone thinks Lou Reed has such a big buddy as this male do. Apparently Lou doesn’t. He said if that one is real, he probably would be too jealous to let the guy appeared on the album’s back cover. Actually, that giant thing is a banana. Wants to make connection to the banana album? No clue. Anyway, the one I really concern is the female. I don’t know. Back there when Transformer was released, that was the glam rock age and transvestites were everywhere in British rock scene. But what it comes to my mind is, should I be happy for Lou that someone did think he could be such a lady, or should I be ashamed for the lady that, she was a Lou Reed look-a-like?
2
“But she never lost her head
Even when she was given head”
--Walk on the Wild Side
This is not a joke. BBC has missed this one! They let these lines on air! So the whole Britain could listen to a song about “give head” on radio! Great! Where’s the joke? Apparently, BBC is the joke. What is “give head”? Ask your dentist.
1
“It'd be so nice to fall in love”
--Make up
This line is the biggest joke forever and ever in Rock ’n’ Roll history…umm…if not the biggest, as least as big as the Lou Reed All-Time Classic Album Metal Machine Music. (Not a joke)
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